Taylor swift is really my guilty pleasure

Listening to her new song We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together is really apt for me at this moment.

"We are never ever getting back together"

Because it is honestly really exhausting to be with you recently, keeping up with your expectations of what I should be to you and me just never being good enough. So it was you being mad with me and me trying so hard to please and you still pinning the blame on me whenever I felt completely shit about myself. And you never admitting you're wrong even when everyone is telling you what an insensitive jerk you are and me never wanting more than just an apology. Is apologizing honestly really that hard for you?

You told me once before that you knew in your heart we could last forever and how much you really wanted to be with me. But then you though of all the things that could go wrong once we were together and that just scared you. So you bailed on me and left. But you still wanted to be friends, you still wanted us to be somewhat platonic. Sure we were really good friends and we were good together for that period of time. But you chose your grades, you chose Community, you chose everything and every other commitment but me. You shouldn't deny it because you know its true. Sorry I wasn't good enough for you lol. But I tried I really did.

You only want to hear me tell you how much I care and how much I really do like you so you can just go back on your words and leave again once you've heard it all.

No, not now, not ever again.

We are never, ever, ever getting back together. I do care, but I'm tired of you taking me for granted. I have had enough of being your personal errand-runner/punching-bag/doormat/ literally the girl that almost all boys school boys want thats completely crazy about them and just basically does every single thing to please you type of girl.

Sometimes I wish I could be content with just being your doormat, things would be a lot easier no? Sorry sometimes I have way too much pride I would like to admit and honestly, being a doormat is just incredibly downgrading for me.

But we are never ever getting back together because you chose everything but me. So stick with that choice. Stick with it because I'm not coming back. Not now and ever.