Bound 2

Haven't posted in so long :( school's been getting very busy and I haven't had that much time to sit down and get a proper non-cas-related-reflection-entry out in a while -yes i have a cas blog, please don't judge me HAHA-

School work has been piling up lately, it's honestly deadline after deadline and assignment after assignment. I really think I need to manage my time properly, I'm getting better, but I'm still a bit too messy and un-organised, ugh. Hopefully I kick my nasty habits of procrastinating and day-dreaming, it's honestly not doing me any good. But I would say I'm a lot more motivated now, and that's been paying off so far :)

I've just been reflecting on appearances and the whole idea of beauty/prettiness that people, well mainly girls, tend to seek. I'm not going to deny the fact that I, too, am quite vain and bother way too much about how I look and how others perceive me. I try not to let that effect me too much, but I don't deny that it does upset me quite a bit when I don't feel like I look good or if I'm not considered pretty. It's quite shallow and annoying to be honest and I have to remind myself that as much as I want to bother about my looks, these things don't matter as much in the long term :) and it's about, cheesily, my insides hahaha

However, I do think that, sometimes, people are very affected and often do get very sensitive about their looks. I mean its natural to get affected by what you see around, and get envious of what we don't have and what we want that others have. We tend to fall into the insecurity of being unwanted because we don't look a certain way or dress in a certain way, but I think that is a whole load of bull. You don't need anyone else's approval for your looks at all. If you're happy and confident in yourself then that's ultimately what matters most :)

On a completely separate note, I just watched Becoming 2013! :) and I'm very proud of Natalie for her performance, love you Nat! Take care ok? :)

I might blog again soon, geez, I'm getting rusty with this personal reflection writing.

Ciao for now~

xxTsui

Musings 1

The extended Youth Day weekend is coming to and end :( I've had such a lovely weekend that it almost seems strange and surreal. I managed to get a lot of work done, while enjoying myself over the weekend which was a big shocker to me. I get very unmotivated and lazy quite often when I get complacent -very bad habit that I need to kick- but I managed to cut down a lot on my procrastination and at least get work done :) for which I am very grateful and strangely perplexed. Because I've not been like this before and its strange.

Some part of me wonders where this is really coming from, I may not have a definite and exact answer, but I know that I am slowly changing and discovering myself again. I'm not going back to the way I was before but I think I'm moving on from that. I'm becoming more of 'myself' in a sense? Like I'm realising the potential within myself and I'm working towards that 'self'.

If you ask me what is at the end of that tunnel or that 'self' that I want to realise. I wouldn't be able to answer you quite frankly. Because I don't have a definite of what I am in a worldly sense. I do know that I am Child of God, with a vocation to Love and this is my dream of which I will act on in enthusiasm and faith

And for that I look towards that my future and for the things that may come my way. I pray that I would have the courage to change what I can, the serenity to accept those that I cannot and the wisdom to know the difference. 

May everyone have a blessed week! :)

xxTsui

Desert Song

First week of Semester 2 is over! Honestly I'm feeling very apprehensive about Term 3 and 4 :( with my pretty decent bordering on bad Semester 1, I guess I'm more determined to make the rest of the year good :) 

I'm very grateful for the one month break and GPS trip. It was a very lovely opportunity to reconnect with myself and provided me with a lot of healing that reaffirmed my identity, faith, hope and love. Normally I would be very drained after a week of school and extremely unmotivated to do work. But surprisingly I was really energetic and awake throughout the week, plus I  got a lot of work done and finished my holiday homework! -late but at least I got it done~- So for that I say praise the Lord! For He is my victory and He is here! 

-Desert Song by Hillsong is my current jam-

After a pretty bad spiritual dry-spell I'm very grateful I've had the opportunity to be reaffirmed in the faith :) this song spoke to me because in many ways I could relate to the prayer in it, and I wish to share this song and its prayer with all of you :) 

I am also very grateful to whoever I've been walking with last month and this week :) I pray for us to continue to journey with one another and for us to never loose faith in Him. I am grateful for the countless blessings he has gifted me, and for each and every one of you that he has gifted me, I say thank you and I love you :) 

Now tiny me has to go hunt for food and prep for Chinese tuition! 

Have a great weekend :) 

XxTsui

Seafolds

I've been writing for a while and well, I've never actually had a space to put them, now I guess I do? 

Follow my Writing Blog on Tumblr! Link below:

http://seafolds.tumblr.com/

I'll be posting poetry, prose and snippets written by me and probably reblogging some quotes or pictures that strikes my fancy :) and I'll be updating pretty regularly too :)

Feel free to give me feedback on my writing too! I'd really appreciate the critique :)

xxTsui

Follow the Yellow Brick Road

Photos from the past week/ month:

Study Date with Natalie

"Hey Nat! I'm gonna take a photo!"

-pulls face-

"This is going on Instagram"

-changes face-

and she calls me retarded.... 

+ We met Gwen and Gisele at the Library after this! 

-hahajkjkiloveyounatty<3-

VA Kid doing VA things

Hazy days are Lazy days 

Singapore Haze hits 401

Yay for killed lungs man

Photo above courtesy of Lloyd

Lunch+Study+Catch-up with Ching Yi <3 

Dinner date and movie (Now You See Me) with Lloyd after<3 Movie was pretty okay, didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would have, but we snuck Garretts into the cinema and he let me have the bag after :) <3 the company was lovely as always 

Gwen's 18th birthday Lunch<3 Love you Gwen! Hope your birthday week was a blast! :)

Met up with Emma<3<3 omg its been so long and I'm so glad to finally meet her. Some things never change :') 

Lazy day+ Catch up with these two besties for 3 years :) really missed them both and we finally got to catch up over Ding Tai Fung and Youtube Videos + not shown here was Kai Sing putting makeup on my face hahaha 

Mexico

"Lover you may cause me tears, drag me through the best of years, but I love you so."

-The Staves

So much love for this band, this song and to whom this post is dedicated to <3 heh :) 

Can't wait to see him tomorrow! 

xxTsui

Con Camp 2013

I'm not sure what, where, how, why exactly am I writing this post, but I'm just getting a stirring from the Spirit in my heart that's quite impossible to ignore. So here goes:

Confirmation camp has been enlightening, a very amazing experience that has taught me so much in  a mere four days. I'm grateful for my entire experience there and everything that I've learnt or rather re-learnt, about God, about faith journeys and more importantly about myself, so that I can better serve in future camps and in my continuos walk with God.

My kids were an amazing bunch, with strong foundations and a seeking and conviction for God that is truly admirable. There were some rough patches, but I believe and feel that the Holy Spirit has worked its power over and in them. And they've definitely come a long way in the past four days and grew a lot more in faith. I'm really thankful that we've had the opportunity to journey together :) Strangely despite being one of the Facils, I found myself learning a lot more from their struggles than maybe me teaching them or preparing them for the journey and walk with God. I wish them all the best in their walks with God and that they too will find this life a fulfilling and satisfying one.

I also found myself in this Camp, through the act of serving, through the four-to-five hours worth of sleep, through the call to be vulnerable around kids that barely knew me, through the invitation to work with people I may not be comfortable with, through the awareness that there are areas in my life I need to let go in and let God take over, through all the acts of dying slowly to myself and just rising up despite the tiredness, weariness, sometimes loneliness and maybe even pain and disillusion, I found God again. And it was the renewal that my identity is a Child of God and my vocation is not only that of a student but to love as well.

And from that Love, we are ultimately called to forgive. I think this Sunday's gospel reading from Luke 7:36-50 struck me because of areas in my life that I need to reconcile with. Especially verse 47 which reads:

"For this reason I tell you that her sins, many as they are, have been forgiven, because she has shown such great love. It is someone who is forgiven little who shows little love."

That really hit it home for me and was probably the sign that I needed because I have been ignoring God's soft promptings... I think the call for me right now is to reaffirm myself to the YES I made to God about 2 years ago when I went for Confi Camp and although I have fallen and I do have my struggles that should never discourage me from continuing to seek God and from my faith journey.

Another important thing I've learnt in this Camp experience is that I am not alone. I have never been alone. When I thought I was walking alone, disillusioned and confused, unable to feel God's presence in my life, he was there. I just didn't want to listen. God has worked in strange and very surprising ways in my life, gifting me with reminders, many of them in fact, that he has always been there for me in my struggles. And he has gifted me with people who have reminded me that I am not alone in my walk of Faith and that I do have people to rely on and it is not a bad thing to draw strength from the people around me sometimes as well.

To anyone that has been supporting me during the Camp experience, be it a message to check-up on me, to a conversation with me in getting to know me better or just to check-up on me to even just keeping me in your prayers. Thank you. I'm very grateful for each and everyone one of you and all that you've done for me.

I pray that I can stay committed to my promises, I pray that I will always cherish those around me, I pray that I can fulfill my vocation as a student, I pray that I can continue down this path with God, I pray that I can one day forgive those who have wounded or hurt me, I pray that I can realize and accept that I may not be enough for this world but I will be for God, I pray that I can also continue to love, for my love is the only thing I have that is truly mine and that it will continue to be courageous and pure and survive the snares of the World.

But in all ultimates, there are places I have planned on going, but those plans don't matter if God is not in them. For I will let Thy will be done.

xxTsui

X+Z

Show me the facts. 

Show me the numbers: list them out in tables and spreadsheets. 

Show me the stats, the symbols, the integers. Number out your affections, calculate them with the theories of Pythagoras and Grauert. That of exponential and logarithm graphs; show me the growth and decay of relationships. 

Show me the probability of attraction and how the odds that were stacked so cleanly and neatly against us, could bring my calculations and all its numerical values and decimals, back to you. 

Let the funny coincidence of a statistical fluke, become the axiom of my greatest theorem yet. The one with you. 

The little embarrassing piece of prose that I was working on for the past few days. I'm getting very into Mathematical metaphors -hey alliteration!- and writing poems and proses have been a lot easier nowadays than doodling. I'm not sure if I like this change...

Lemme know what you think! ^^

xxTsui

GPS CEBU 2013

 Tap Tap Barangay<3

 

Zandra's Barangays

 Photo Credits to Lloyd<3 

The Arts Camp Video~

Wow, just wow.

Been back from Cebu for about 4 days and I've only gotten around to writing a post about my experience about now. I'm just very grateful for my experience there and for the activities and projects I got to be a part of. I've learnt a lot of things during GPS, about poverty and money, about family ties, friendships and bonds, about my teammates and about myself. I'm very thankful for a lot of things that went our way during the trip, for the kids that turned up during our arts camp, for the food that was cooked for us everyday by Atte Nora and Kuya Alberto, for the weather during our mural painting days, for the bonds that we formed with the kids and the members of the Barangay. Most of all I'm very thankful for my team, all 18 members including Mr Ong and Ms Darrell



Thank you guys for making GPS one of the most memorable and the most meaningful trip I've had in SOTA :) We had our spats and our disagreements but I think we all turned out right in the end and we managed to work really really well together and we bonded so much in 13 days. You guys are the most inspiring, hard-working, driven, committed, fun and creative people that I've had the privilege of working with and I couldn't have asked for a better GPS team to journey with :) <3

xxTsui

BRB

Be right back: flying off to Cebu for GPS in less than 8(?! i think) hours and I can't really sleep. Been so pumped for Cebu, I can't believe its really happening. But it is, and I think I should sleep soon :(

Today has been pretty good, but I don't have time to post a detailed entry :( will get right on that when I'm back!

-the brother is back from Tekong too-

Be safe ok? This goes to Nat, Gwen, Ching Yi, Sing, Ethan, Amelia, Chaice and everyone else. Hope all your GPSes are successful!!

xxTsui

Other things

Just some updates that I've finally got around to posting, sifting through about two-hundred photos on my iphone and arranging them onto Blogger is probably the only productive thing I've done all day. I've tried my best to arrange them in order from when I left off, but my memory's pretty muddled so it may not be chronological. But here's the summary of events that have happened to me complete with pictures:

1. Exam Week:

My friends' reactions to exams, stress, deadlines, IB and well life:

Lloyd says: Go away, you small child.

 The people I've been studying with:

Natalie after too much math at my place ^

The Gents, Kai Sing and Ching Yi^

History kids dying in the library and us going for lunch with our econs plus one:

2. Post Exams: 

Baking with Chaice and Zandra, in addition to saving Zandra from being lost:

HIGHLIGHTS Exhibition with works from my group's IA photoshoot last year :)

Day out with Natalie, she has converted me into a Boost addict now:

Plus us lying around somewhere in school much later on in the week

Tones ticket sales with the Tones team:

I sent my brother off at Tekong and cried for a good 10 minutes, overly-attached sister award goes to me everyone

TONES!!

"You Tape Duck" by Samuel Choon and the helpers shagged out in the crew corner

 Probably one of my best nights ever, Tones was amazing with great music, lovely company and good vibes. Props to Chaice and Clare for organizing and everyone else on the team who made this happen ^^ best Tones I've ever been to~

I've also gotten my hands on this new app Snap Chat. You take a photo and send it to your buddies and they can only view it for a limited amount of time before the photo is gone. Needless to say, I've been having too much fun screen-shotting -is this even a word??- everything.

Snap Chat Y'all:

 

 Excursion to Joo Chiat has got to be the best Chinese class ever, ate so much food and got to see a whole different side of Singapore :)

    

 Its probably safe to assume Scholars have a thing for paper, hence above ^

 More Snap Chats:

 

 

Gwen always sends the funniest Snap Chats :) <3

Watched the Open House preview for dance and as always, Dance never fails to impress :D -I also got Natalie a cactus, because they last longer and flowers are too mainstream-

Scholar Kong with her childhood nicely packaged in a box:

Cebu shirt printing, we're leaving in 5(?!?) days!

We also made thaumatropes -still don't know how to spell this word- but I can't find the pictures :(

Also, infinitely grateful for the below two:

Been doing quite a bit of reflecting, won't post those thoughts because they're a bit too private and might offend some. But I think its currently for the best, where I am right now is probably going to be better for me long term and I should be happy with that. I've been having a lot of fun recently but I'm also very worried about the future and what it's going to hold for me. Year 5 IB hasn't been good so far and its about time I turn that around. We'll just have to wait and see.

Flying off to Cebu in 5 days and I have to leave the house in 5 minutes. Probably going to post again tonight, we'll see about that too. 

xTsui