Why I love Literature so much

Romeo and Juliet: summed up and translated for all your emo motherfucking teenagers whining about how glorious forbidden love is

• Romeo: OH SHIT, DUDE, who is that hot piece of ass right meow, shaking it.
• Benvolio: So like, dude, either go up and talk to her or gimme whatever you are smoking because sHIIIIIIT you're high
• Romeo: I AM HIGH ON LOVE!
• ----
• Romeo: Oh hey there, gorgeous, like you know that song "damn she's a sexy bitch" well I think that was written about you
• Juliet: You are so romantic and charming and funny but I don't know who you are and I think my cousin wants to boink me and I'm gonna go along with that so BYE
• ----
• (later)
• Juliet: OH FUCK ME, HE'S THIS ENEMY OTHER DUDE IT'S LIKE I CAN'T FUCK A MONTAGUE BECAUSE THEY ARE SCUM OF THE EARTH AND SHIT. Romeo, WHY are you Romeo like dude change your fucking name or smthin cos like otherwise how will our parents consent to our 14 year old sexing.
• Romeo: MAN YOU ARE SO DEEP AND SMART LET ME SING YOU MY LOVE POETRY WHICH IS SORT OF RIDICULOUS WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT BECAUSE I'M LIKE 16 YEARS OLD AND SAYING "BUT SOFT WHAT LIGHT FROM YONDER WINDOW BREAKS" WITHOUT MAKING A JOKE ABOUT "SOFT BUTS BREAKING YONDER WIND" WHICH IS TOTALLY UNREALISTIC
• Juliet: forsooth! we must plan!
• Romeo: Leave that up to me, sugartits, I'm good.
• Juliet: i have nothing but faith in you, my teenage lover who is clearly nuts and uses way too much natural imagery to be healthy.
• -----
• Mercutio: Tybalt you're a whiny bitch and nobody likes you
• Tybalt: ZOUNDS! FORSOOTH! I AM OFFENDED SO LET ME SKEWER YOU!
• Mercutio: I am dead
• Benvolio: HEY ROMEO I THINK MERCUTIO IS DEAD
• Romeo: SHIT, YOU MOTHERFUCKER, SHIT'S ABOUT TO GET REAL CHAAARGE
• Romeo: well fuck
• Romeo: I think I just killed my girlfriend's cousin
• Romeo: shit's awkward
• Romeo: aaaaawkward
• Romeo: fuck
• -----
• Nurse: yo, dude, so your boyfriend just killed your cousin so basically you have no boys who like you anymore
• Juliet: omg like he left me without saying goodbye after he committed murder, like what is that
• Nurse: but like oh god Tybalt is dead
• Juliet: no but seriously did Romeo leave a note for me because I'm IN LURRVE
• Nurse: ok, stay calm my crazy child I will somehow subvert the government of italy and bring your psychopathic murdering homeboy to you because clearly every authority figure ever in this play TRUSTS THE JUDGMENT OF 13 YEAR OLDS.
• ----
• Nurse: Hey Friar! Hey romeo! Here, Juliet heard you were in trouble so she gave me this ring to help you out
• Romeo: HOW WELL MY COMFORT IS REVIVED BY THIS (no seriously this is legit a direct quote and what he says I am not kidding)
• -----
• Juliet's mom: why hello there, man we have never seen before, yeah, definitely, I LOVE THIS GUY
• Paris: WHY HEY LET ME MARRY YOUR DAUGHTER OK
• Juliet's mom: yes of course! right this way!
• ----
• Nurse: yo, Juliet, quitcher love makin, your momma's here
• Juliet: OH SHIT! Romeo, farethewell, I love you always kk?
• Romeo: aaight, I'm gone. Peace!
• Juliet's Mom: Oh hey, sweetie, we just decided you're going to marry this guy, kk? Yeah, like, we know your'e super sad about your cousin dying and shit but we thought marriage was appropriate.
• Juliet: what the fuck I mean right yeah cool
• Juliet's mom: and by the way, what about that romeo fucker, eh? We best get him killed yes?
• Juliet: err, yes. YES. WE SHALL DRINK HIS BLOOD BECAUSE TYBALT.
• Juliet's mom: k sweetie alright so marriage
• Juliet: FUCK NO WHY
• Juliet's dad: because we said so and this is not a democracy this is 15th century italy duhhh
• ----
• Paris: so like I love juliet but she doesn't love me whyyyyy
• Friar: yeah um well yeah...women...feelings...and...shit
• Juliet: hello!
• Paris: HEYYYYYY WIFEY!
• Juliet: er, hi. FRIAR WE NEEDS TO TALK STAT.
• Friar: ahaha! yes...that thing! THAT CONFESSION THING RIGHT? ahahah RIGHT THIS WAY
• ---
• Juliet: yo, friar, I am le fucked fucked fucked
• Friar: yeah I know right
• Juliet: so like what do I do
• Friar: OK, so like, I have this roofie potion.
• Juliet: OH GOODY!
• Friar: so here is the ridiculously convoluted plan which I just made up on the spot that is seriously creepy because dead chicks are HAWT.
• Juliet: k
• Friar: so instead of just like, me visiting your house and distracting your parents while you skedaddle, I think it makes more sense for you to PRETEND THAT YOU'RE DEAD.
• Juliet: k!
• Friar: so like you take the roofie potion and like everybody thinks you're dead right and then they TAKE YOU TO THE CRYPT and then they mourn and cry and shit and we're going to disregard the whole wake and embalming thing and then like romeo comes in right and like somehow wakes you up and like YOU GUYS GO AWAY TOGETHER FROM THE CRYPT.
• Juliet: I LIKE THIS PLAN IT MAKES TOTAL SENSE OK.
• Friar: I will totes tell Romeo!
• ----
• Juliet: SO LIKE I'M GONNA HAVE THIS SUPERLONG SOLILOQUY ABOUT HOW SUDDENLY I DON'T TRUST THE FRIAR N.E. MORE BECAUSE ALL OF A SUDDEN I'VE REALIZED THIS PLAN IS VERY SILLY BUT ALSO DON'T EXPLAIN WHY FRIAR WOULD WANT TO KILL ME OMG IT'S SO SCARY SCARY SCARY KNOWING I'M ABOUT TO TAKE SOME FUCKING NYQUIL AND SHIT WHAT THE FUCK OK I'M OUT.
• ---
• nurse: SHE'S DEAD
• Juliet's mom: DEAD WHAT THE FUCK I TOTALLY DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING EVEN IF SHE TOTES DIDN'T WANT TO GET MARRIED AND WHATNOT HRM.
• paris: I am so sad and wronged
• Friar: heehee yeah she's dead...really...dead.
• ------
• Balthasar: YO DUDE, DID YOU HEAR, THAT CAPULET BITCH JUST DIED AHAHAHAH RIGHT?
• Romeo: LE WHAT
• Balthasar: yeah dude Juliet is dead!
• Romeo: FUCK
• Romeo: WHAT THE FUCK
• Romeo: NO SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK
• Romeo: Im gonna need some poison n shit and then I'm going to go to that place where I'm not supposed to enter on pain of death so that I can kill myself
• Romeo: GOOD PLAN.
• ---------
• Friar: doo bee dooo be doooo...writing a letter...having some wine...writing a letter....slowly...giving it to another friar...because like MAIL IS SO FAST IN THIS 15TH CENTURY DAY AND AGE...bet romeo's gonna be SO EXCITED....
• other friar: shit dude, I lost it
• Friar: well FUCK
• ------
• Paris: OMG MY DEAD WIFE IS SO HAWT
• Romeo: OMG NO SHE WAS MY DEAD WIFE
• Paris: OMG WHAT WHO ARE YOU
• Romeo: I AM THE BATMAN, SON! FEAR ME AND MY SWORD OF DEATH
• Paris: SHIT I AM SLAIN!
• Romeo: that's right, bitch. Trying to ENCROACH on my WOMAN that's what you were doing.
• -----
• Romeo: oh my god juliet, you are so dead
• Romeo: so, so dead
• Romeo: so very, very dead
• Romeo: DEAD
• Romeo: so now like
• Romeo: I'm dead
• Romeo: DEAD. blargh. dead.
• -------
• Juliet: well fuck
• Juliet: what is this
• Juliet: it's really cold
• Juliet: WHAT IN THE WORLD
• Juliet: OMG ROMEO IS THAT YOU
• Juliet: LET ME KISS YOU
• Juliet: OH FUCK YOU AREN'T RESPONDING
• Juliet: FUCK YOU'RE DEAD TOO
• Juliet: WHAT IS THIS
• Juliet: I AM SO DISTRAUGHT IT HURRRTS
• Juliet: LET ME TAKE THIS CONVENIENT DAGGER AND DO THAT THING THAT I WAS SCARED TO DO IN THE BEGINNING BECAUSE FUCK ME I JUST CANNOT GO ON LIKE THIS WITH THE ROOFIES AND THE CRYPT AND A DEAD BOYFRIEND
• Juliet: FAREWELL CRUEL WORLD
• Juliet: I'M DYING
• JULIET: DYING
• JULIET: ANY MINUTE NOW
• JUIET: STILL JUST DYING
• JULIET: OMG
• JULIET: LIKE HOW MUCH FEELINGS DO I HAVE TO POUR OUT, RIGHT?
• JULIET: am i dead yet?
• JULIET: ok cool. I'm dead.
• ----
• Juliet's mom and Dad: well fuck we sure fucked up right like what is this some sort of necrophelia thing or what
• the montagues: yeah like maybe we should rethink this whole blood feud thing because like...people bleed.
• Juliet's mom and dad: and die
• Montagues: yeah like that whole dying this is seriously overrated like KIDS
• Juliet's mom and dad: yeah like what dumbfuckery is this right let's be besties
• Montagues: OK
• ----
• END.
• AND THAT IS HOW ROMEO AND JULIET PLAYS OUT ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, YOU EMO MOTHERFUCKERS.
• <p> i dont usually reblog text posts but omg this</p>

Taken tumblr, credits to lightspeedsound

Putting this up to share because this is so true and because I really love Literature so much. Just some quick updates, its exam time now and I've already taken my Literature paper, 2 Math papers, History, Anthropology and I just took Biology today. I have my Chinese paper tomorrow and Chemistry the day after before I'm free~ And then I can just curl up with my movies, books and just read or lounge around with a cup of tea. 

Been getting back into reading lately, picked up a whole new series and have a definite list of books I want to complete by the end of the holidays :)  

B2 class party on Friday :) really can't wait for exams to be over and for OSL :) 

updating again on Saturday~ 

Tsui